XOXO Joe Goldberg: 3 Life Lessons from Netflix’s “You”

A twisted tale of social media stalking gone bat-shit crazy, everybody is buzzing about “You” on Netflix.

If you haven’t already binged the series, you probably have a friend who keeps nudging you to get on that ASAP. (Naturally, I am one of those friends.)

In addition to its overall eeriness and mindfuckery, the show also offers some important life lessons. And yes, this extends beyond the casual warning that your boyfriend might be a murderer.

In true writer fashion, I’ve looked past Penn Badgley’s sexiness (albeit difficult), and identified these hidden gems. With spoilers kept to a minimum, let’s dive in:

1. If you’re truly passionate about something, stop letting life get in the way of it.

Ah. Beck, Beck, Beck. (Yes, that should be read in Joe’s creepy voice.)

Beck has big dreams of becoming a writer, but she consistently lets small setbacks distract her and throw her off course.

Here’s the deal: when it comes to creative endeavors, there’s never a straight path to success. That’s just how it is, and there’s no way around it.

Therefore, you have to develop a thick skin to move forward. Beck misses the mark when she gets emotional over negative feedback, blames her money situation for her lack of progress, and places her self-worth in a fuckboy’s hands. (Sup, Benji?)

In essence, stop half-assing your passion because it’s hard. Success might not fall into your lap, but commitment and perseverance will keep things moving.

2. Focus on bettering yourself, not your social media presence.

Although “You” took the ease of online stalking to dangerous extremes, the show’s overall exposure of social media facade was very real.

For instance, Benji points out that Beck’s “deep writer” persona on Instagram is essentially bullshit. Much to Joe’s dismay, he basically insinuates that Beck is nothing more than a basic bitch who would gladly sleep her way to the top.

I couldn’t help but smile at this scene, as it was oddly relevant on a personal level. Not the basic and slutty part, but the fixation with perfecting your appearance on social media.

I utilize my social media platforms to promote my writing, and it’s easy to get caught up in creating the “perfect” post or choosing the right caption for ideal engagement.

In these times, it’s important to bring yourself back to reality. Instead of fluffing up your skewed social media image, put that energy toward improving the real you.

Contrary to popular belief, it’s about more than sharing unfiltered photos and bravely welcoming your followers to your “non-edited life.”

It’s about facing the weaknesses you can change and tackling them, instead of concealing them to the world.

3. Modern dating is messed up, but don’t let it cloud your judgment.

From terrible Tinder dates to ever-present situationships, the current dating world is a golden sphere of shit.

Because of this, we grow accustomed to getting the bare minimum. We adopt that asshole persona to protect ourselves, and pretend to be cool with the lack of commitment.

We refer to guys we like as a “maybe,” just like Beck initially did with Joe.

When a genuinely good guy finally presents himself, we quickly get sucked into the dicksand.

Unfamiliar with such consistency and charm, we think that we’re finally getting what we deserve.

To be fair, you might be right. Every nice guy at the bookstore won’t turn into a Peeping Tom who low-key kills people.

That being said, don’t get so side swept by the sweetness that you ignore blatant red flags.

I mean, Beck didn’t find it a little odd that Joe had ZERO friends of his own? Come on, girl.

Flattery is nice, but it’s not worth it when controlling behavior comes along for the ride. Sometimes, it if it seems too good to be true, it actually is.

What did you think of “You?” Let me know in the comments!